Being brave is something I don’t think I’ve ever been particularly good at. As in, I don’t think I’d exactly be sorted into the house of Gryffindor.
I have my moments when I’ll say “fuck it”, and go for it, no matter how terrified I am and want to throw up and die. Like when I tried out for the V Monologues, or applied to NSO, or…moved out to the 808.
While all of those things were, at the time, unbelievably frightening… nothing is scarier than letting your guard down with someone. WIth someone who could completely break you. With someone who has a lot more power than they comprehend or even want or try to have.
But when you finally do just lay down your armor and say what it is that needs to be said, after the heart-pounding initial moments leading up to the moment when it is said, it’s magic.
You never know what the outcome will be. You can only hope for the best. But you’ll never know if you don’t say or do something.
I think my girl T Swift summed it up the best:
“I think you should
Digo left for Boy’s State today for a whole week and I’m sad.
Just tried to insult me by calling me a beaner.
Possibly the least offensive diss I’ve ever received.
If that’s not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is.
Who’s coming to town this weekend?
MY GENTLEMAN CALLER!
For a whole day and night, due to a miraculously long layover of sorts, my boy toy is staying in Whittier with moi before heading back to summer school at UH.
Pinch me, I must be dreaming.